I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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