i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Found your dick twin last night
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
