plz talk dirty to me
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
