I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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