I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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