They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
