I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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