whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
