I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
