I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
