They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
