I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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