My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
