Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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