why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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