...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
