Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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