some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I will pee on everything he values.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
