There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
