I am full of burrito and curiosity
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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