we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize