I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
