I am spending my child support on dildos
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
handjob tips. give me some.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
