My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
