I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
