If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
