I think im going to throw up on grandma
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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