i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
