If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My bed smells like the plague
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
