Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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