Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize