I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize