Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
