I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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