tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize