More tranny stories later!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize