I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
