Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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