I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
