I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
