you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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