I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
