I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So squirting runs in the family.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
