sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize