What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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