hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
