So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
