I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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