so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
