I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
nutella sex= disaster
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
