Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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