Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
