White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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