I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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