wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
