What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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