Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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