Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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