His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
