Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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