whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
