My friends, they love my intelligence
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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