i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
