Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
